in 2006 i lost everything.

how do you come back from that?

i'm frozen. daily life is a constant struggle for me, because always i am fighting down the thoughts of the things i've lost. it drains me.

i am blessed beyond measure. i have also worked myself to my current state of near-complete exhaustion.

i have nothing right now to give. no time, no money, not one moment unguarded. i can't write. i can't photograph. i can't decorate. i am frozen. i can't make jewelry. i can barely remember the woman i was before.

i don't know how to calm down. i don't know how to relax. i don't know how to earn an income we can live within. i don't know how to sleep alone at night.