I started doing crossword puzzles in 2006 when I was in Texas. I could barely sit still, I was so upset and anxious. I felt trapped in a place and couldn't figure out how to get out. when i get like that, my mind races and i become immobile. i will lie in my bed and stare at a blank wall until i fall asleep. here, now as i write there is no music. no sound but the fan which runs always and the 91 freeway.

I just got back from Mendocino Thursday. i slept all day Friday, worked yesterday and worked today. tonight is Halloween. everyone is going somewhere it seems except me and my tribe. it depresses me that we don't go out, but no one wants to go anywhere.

Austin, Ryan, and Danielle played airsoft today with friends in Brea. They were gone most of the day. Paige met them back here, and now Austin, Ryan, and Paige are all sleeping and Danielle is playing Nazi Zombies. I guess they're tired.

I wanted to go grocery shopping today, but i'm tired.